Perinatal Mental Health | A brave member

3 May

A stunning She Moves member shares her inspiring story on the blog today. Her journey through postpartum depression / anxiety sees her and her husband managing two babies, born just less than a year apart. This lovely lady is so passionate about helping others and thinks there needs to be more opportunity for mums to seek help if they need it. Her biggest piece of advice? Don’t wait to ask for help. It isn’t “normal” to be miserable and feel like everything sucks.

Can you tell us a little bit about your family?

We have two girls who are 361 days apart. We found out just before our eldest was three months old that baby number two was on the way. We had moved to a new town and had no family support.

At what point did you realise you were suffering from Postpartum Depression/Anxiety?

It actually wasn’t until our youngest was around three months old. But now that I look back I think it started when our first was born. But given we had soooo much going on with a big move, new town and work stress I pushed it to the back of my mind. I put a lot of it down to how ill I was with morning sickness (or all day sickness), exhaustion from having a baby in the house and the added pressure of prepping for number two. As well as the physical pressure – basically from the day I conceived I looked pregnant again.

Baby #2 was born prem and her arrival involved a very dramatic helicopter trip and my second c-section in less than a year.

Because we still had a baby, my husband had to drop me off at the local hospital on my own. We both still thought it might be false labour. Things escalated very quickly, they had to pop me in a tourist chopper to get me to hospital.

Hubby left baby #1 with friends while my Mum jumped on a plane. We drove home the next day when baby #2 was only a few hours old so that we could get back to baby #1. The guilt I felt at leaving baby #1 was overwhelming.

What symptoms did you experience?

It took a long time for me to bond. I loved her but I couldn’t shake the guilt. At first I thought it was the “baby blues” but things just kept getting worse.

I was irrationally upset over the smallest things, insisted on hosting 20 people for Christmas lunch (with a six week old and a one year old) and hated the fact that it seemed like everyone else was having wonderful Christmas holidays and we were “stuck at home”. Instead of finding joy in our situation I spent a lot of time just going through the motions.

We took our first family holiday to a beautiful spot by a beach. At one point I locked myself in the bathroom, sat on the floor and just couldn’t stop crying. Everything hurt and I was slightly hysterical. I can’t even remember what set me off that day in particular but I knew that it wasn’t baby blues.

How did you take that first step in seeking help?

My hubby gently suggested that I needed help. He explained to me that I had lost my spark and that although things were tough I was ok. He is an incredible human being. We decided I need to see a DR.

I went to my GP who was incredible. He outlined a few options for me and we settled on trying a low dose of meds. The change was almost immediate. I was back to my old self, happy, had energy and realised what an amazing life I had.

I still take antidepressants now years on, the thought of being miserable again isn’t worth the idea of stopping them for now.

What advice would you give to another mum who might really be struggling with their mental health?

Don’t wait to ask for help. It isn’t “normal” to be miserable and feel like everything sucks. Take time out for you when you can and know you are not alone in your struggles.