Perinatal Mental Health | Meet Alana

4 May

Meet Alana, Alana has been a longtime member of She Moves and in this blog she bravely shares her story of experiencing postpartum depression after the birth of her first son. Alana shares some fantastic tips for anyone who might be navigating something similar as well as shares how much her She Moves workouts have helped her on this journey.

Can you tell us a little bit about your family?

We're a family of five, being me, my partner Gareth, Duncan, Richie and Gwyneth plus our dog, Luna - it's beautiful chaos here most days of the week!!

At what point did you realise you were suffering from Postpartum Depression/Anxiety?

I had some pretty big life events happen after Duncan was born. My Grandma, who was my rock, passed away less than three weeks after he was born. Then, while I was on maternity leave, my role went through a process of disestablishment through a corporate restructure, that, plus being alone in a house with a baby for 12 hours a day alone, it was pretty full on.

To start with, most people I spoke to just said it was grief and the usual depression. Then I found out about postpartum depletion about nine months postpartum, and the penny started to drop that it was definitely linked to what I now also know to be a process of matrescence, and I started to work through who the new me was going to be with the help of a counsellor.

What symptoms did you experience?

Spikes of extreme rage, intense anxiety about leaving the house and ruining naps and an obsession with naps, which then also turned into this vicious cycle of beating myself up about all the things I must be doing wrong as a mother because my child wouldn't sleep.

Despite having friends who also had babies a similar age, I was pretty convinced I was the only one failing at it (I now know we all just make stuff up on the daily and are all worrying about something!), then I'd have these shame spirals and would be too scared to go meet people or head out. I just felt like such a complete and utter failure.

How did you take that first step in seeking help?

I was able to access talk therapy through my work restructure which was hugely beneficial, and then did the same about 18 months after my second was born as I could feel some small warning signs coming back, and so far, third time round, I'm feeling much more balanced and have intervened earlier with things like a naturopath to keep my hormones balanced and keep postpartum depletion at bay.

What did you find really helped you through this period of your life?

Movement was basically my sanity, I stayed off caffeine, and third time round I've given up worrying about sleep and bed share with bubs. We both now get so much more rest and it's making a world of difference.

With my second two, I'm now running my own business, and while it's incredibly challenging at times, it means I still have my brain in action which is the best thing for my mental wellbeing. It's pretty impossible to ever do everything right or feel like your nailing motherhood, but when working on stuff for clients or myself I can see the stuff that's in my control, take action on that, and it makes the mum stuff a bit easier because I feel like I've had some wins and am still good at things!

Did your She Moves membership help you through this time?

So much! When I was too scared to leave the house with my first, I knew that by doing a workout each day at the start of the first nap, then I'd at least have got something done just for me and could face what then came along!

I also walked most days with my first born (less so with the other two as life is more of a juggle with more than one!) And made a consistent month back with the April challenge which has made a massive impact. Knowing that I could tune in either live or on replay and feel some connection to other mums - both Ren and Jen and now the other amazing trainers, as well as to the other members in the She Moves community has been fab.

What advice would you give to another mum who might really be struggling with their mental health?

Ask for help. Or don't even ask, just tell someone it's hard right now and you don't know what to do. A problem shared is always a bit better.

Try to be as kind to yourself as you can. Social media makes us think everyone has their shit together, and they don't, so trying to meet people in the real world - often those who are the next stage ahead can really help as a mum, because they don't compare, but understand from a place of experience and can give you new ideas, or just create a space where you feel heard, seen and acknowledged.

Be incredibly conscious of what you consume - both mentally and in terms of food and drink, and if you need to make changes, start by making small ones, as anything else can be too overwhelming.

And when it's really hard? Humming helps your nervous system, so if the baby or the kids are losing it, go shut yourself away in another room for like 2 minutes and hum anything you can think of (even if it's a bloody cocomelon song!) and you should feel calmer afterwards.